This is so fucking stupid. Not only is it promoting self harm, it’s promoting cutting yourself in the shape of some stupid overdone tattoo because you’re young and don’t know any better and think because it has a thousand notes it’s cool. This shit does not belong on a vintage blog or a grunge blog. If you’re going to do this shit, save your money, turn 18, and go to a fucking reputable scarification artist. I’m so fucking disgusted right now. What the actual fuck is wrong with people. Please repost this with your thoughts. Am I the only one?
She has a permanent upside down tattoo that could give her tetnus, lockjaw, gangrene…kill her…my friend in high school has a permanent swastika on the back of her hand because she tried to scarify herself…now she’s a nurse and it’s time consuming for her to keep it covered at all times…smh
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via dorkvader)
i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere
Frozen downtown lights and spewing fountain of life
To be home asleep and guarded
Not revealing friendship strains
This feels safe
Calm before the
Hey let’s not ruin life again
How you are
Above the mountain like a diamond
One way street
NEARLY DIED THIS IS SO GOOD! MEGA MEGA MC GAFF E
heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied,
illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs
And tell me why this has been stuck in my head lately?